Even though Minister Picardette is stepping down from his job citing his "poor judgment" in getting some on the side, PrétentU has issued a statement supporting Professor Wang and her husband in these "trying times" (more trying for her husband, one might imagine).
Although not explicitly stated, sources state that Professor Wang will continue her visiting professorship at the university, as having an affair with a French Minister is not against any university rules, and also, it's just sex you prudes.
In other trashy, gossipy news that only troglodytes like us, who don't read The Bluffington's Most, would want to see, Professor Wang's husband has allegedly filed for divorce.
Scaaandal.
Source: The Bluffington's Most
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
PROFESSOR WRITING A BOOK ABOUT FRENCH ECONOMIC PENETRATION
Because the universe can also be a place that makes us laugh, Professor Mei Wang of the well-known French Affair was in the process of writing her third book, tentatively titled Moving Forward, regarding continued relations between France and Francophone nations in Africa.
Rejected subtitles include "A Probing Inquiry into French Policies" and "France's Economic Penetration of Africa and What We Can Do About It", and also, "I'm Having Sex with a French Minister".
Professor Wang's first two books, Spheres of Influence and Development, focus primarily on the economic impact of Chinese corporations' investment in African nations and are also much less likely to be mined for dirty jokes.
Source: LA Times
Rejected subtitles include "A Probing Inquiry into French Policies" and "France's Economic Penetration of Africa and What We Can Do About It", and also, "I'm Having Sex with a French Minister".
Professor Wang's first two books, Spheres of Influence and Development, focus primarily on the economic impact of Chinese corporations' investment in African nations and are also much less likely to be mined for dirty jokes.
Source: LA Times
TOTAL DRAMA PARIS
The anonymous source that first approached Stawlker with news of the affair between Minister Picardette and Professor Mei Wang has been outed, in an interview with The Bluffington's Most.
Doctor Pierre Monteburne, the head of PrétentU's Department of African Studies, was apparently Wang's closest confidant at the university and the faculty member who lobbied hardest for her inclusion as a visiting professor for the current academic year.
Monteburne, 52, said that he has the "greatest respect" for both Picardette and Wang and that he is "disappointed" in them, although perhaps not as disappointed as he should be in himself for not minding his own business.
French Affair Known Since Summer
The affair between Minister Picardette and Professor Mei Wang of PrétentU was known to several close friends at its very inception, when Mei Wang first visited the university to attend a conference on development in Francophone nations in Africa.
Records of emails between the Minister and Professor Wang have been obtained by gossip site TMZ, in which thousands upon thousands of "flirtatious comments" were written and sent to each other.
In Minister Picardette's defense, this is a lot of work to put into a booty call.
FRANCO-CHINESE "RELATIONS" IN CONTEXT
Newly appointed French Minister of Public Works Jean-Luc Picardette will be resigning from his position effective immediately, citing the now impossible-to-deny affair with visiting professor Mei Wang as primary reason.
"After fifteen years of marriage, I have shown extremely poor judgment," Minister Picardette notes, adding that his behavior was especially unacceptable as a husband but also as a government official.
Minsiter Picardette has multiple business ties in China and speaks fluent Mandarin. His meteoric rise in French politics was seen as both a reflection on his own personal intelligence and rising opportunities for joint French and Chinese cooperation after the relationship between the two nations soured during the 2008 Olympics.
Picardette has gone on record, before his appointment to Minister of Public Works, as supporting China's national sovereignty with regards to Tibet.
Professor Wang has still declined to comment.
Source: NYT
"After fifteen years of marriage, I have shown extremely poor judgment," Minister Picardette notes, adding that his behavior was especially unacceptable as a husband but also as a government official.
Minsiter Picardette has multiple business ties in China and speaks fluent Mandarin. His meteoric rise in French politics was seen as both a reflection on his own personal intelligence and rising opportunities for joint French and Chinese cooperation after the relationship between the two nations soured during the 2008 Olympics.
Picardette has gone on record, before his appointment to Minister of Public Works, as supporting China's national sovereignty with regards to Tibet.
Professor Wang has still declined to comment.
Source: NYT
Oh God Help Us, Now There's a Sex Tape
Because we live in a cruel and unconscionable world that has conspired to preserve every mistake we have ever made, there exists, somewhere out there, a sex tape of Minister Picardette and Professor Wang doing what we can only imagine is terrible things.
(Although tradition demands that we show a screencap from the aforementioned sex tape, with the offending parts blurred out, we have decided to forgo this ritual as all parts offend us in this situation.)
The Los Angeles Times has contacted both Minister Picardette's family and Professor Wang for comment, but so far they have declined. Still no word on whether or not Vivid Entertainment has purchased the rights to this tape.
Probably "yes", though.
Source: LA Times
(Although tradition demands that we show a screencap from the aforementioned sex tape, with the offending parts blurred out, we have decided to forgo this ritual as all parts offend us in this situation.)
The Los Angeles Times has contacted both Minister Picardette's family and Professor Wang for comment, but so far they have declined. Still no word on whether or not Vivid Entertainment has purchased the rights to this tape.
Probably "yes", though.
Source: LA Times
Monday, December 3, 2012
PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE
Don't worry, we heard you.
"Why do you feel so certain they had an affair?"
"Who is this anonymous source?"
"Your website is terrible and the old layout was way better!"
Yes, we heard all those criticisms (although technically the last one is irrelevant to the subject at hand). Never mind the fact that we are well within our rights to protect the identity of our sources, and that Minister Picardette and Professor Wang's own frantic responses could be considered, by the uninitiated, to be proof enough of some sort of misconduct (although perhaps not sexual; maybe just money laundering [This is a joke. - Ed.]).
And then the pictures hit.
BAM:
Proof, at the very least, that Picardette and Wang have met with each other outside of the sacred halls of PrétentU. And our esteemed colleagues at The New York Times have several other photographs which they have deigned to share with us, the gossipy reading public.
Also, rumor on the street says that they have the moneyshot, but in keeping with this blog's long-standing policy on moneyshots ("Ew, Gross, These People are Like, Fifty") we will not publish it here.
Ball's in your court, Picardette.
Source: The New York Times
"Why do you feel so certain they had an affair?"
"Who is this anonymous source?"
"Your website is terrible and the old layout was way better!"
Yes, we heard all those criticisms (although technically the last one is irrelevant to the subject at hand). Never mind the fact that we are well within our rights to protect the identity of our sources, and that Minister Picardette and Professor Wang's own frantic responses could be considered, by the uninitiated, to be proof enough of some sort of misconduct (although perhaps not sexual; maybe just money laundering [This is a joke. - Ed.]).
And then the pictures hit.
BAM:
Also, rumor on the street says that they have the moneyshot, but in keeping with this blog's long-standing policy on moneyshots ("Ew, Gross, These People are Like, Fifty") we will not publish it here.
Ball's in your court, Picardette.
Source: The New York Times
Apologies
We
begin with apologies.
One
of our colleagues in online journalism/aggregating, The
Bluffington's Most (Read News Stories, Because We Are An Aggregate
Site As Well Or At Least Were At One Point), has brought it to
our attention that one of our earlier stories directly lifted
from TBMRNSBWAAASAWOALWAOT's own coverage of the
rapidly unfolding "French Affair".
Obviously
this does not reflect the standards which we here at Stawlker hold
our editors up to, nor does it reflect the enormous respect we have
for TBMRNSBWAAASAWOALWAOT and their team.
We
apologize again for this error. The editor in question was terminated
as soon as the issue was brought to our attention
We
will do better.
FURTHER UPDATES ON L'SCANDALE DE SEX
And
the plot hardens thickens.
Minister
Picardette's wife, Marie Picardette née Bordeaux (who obviously did
not marry to rid herself of a ridiculous name) has now put out her
own response to the allegations of sexual misconduct, claiming that
her husband of fifteen years has never been anything but faithful,
and decrying the negative effects that the prying American media
(read: Yours Truly) can have on a public official's life.
Meanwhile,
a close friend of Mei Wang's (also speaking on the condition of
anonymity, because it seems as though everyone else is doing it) has
noted that Mei Wang's own marriage has remained solid even after 20
years of travel and long-distance courting.
All this must be taken into consideration, as obviously affairs and infidelity never come as a surprise to people close to the situation.
Also, if these allegations were even remotely true why would anyone spend so much time trying to deny them?
RIGHT?
RIGHT???
Source: STILL ANONYMOUS
All this must be taken into consideration, as obviously affairs and infidelity never come as a surprise to people close to the situation.
Also, if these allegations were even remotely true why would anyone spend so much time trying to deny them?
RIGHT?
RIGHT???
Source: STILL ANONYMOUS
Minister Picardette Responds [UPDATED]
That
was surprisingly quick.
France's Minister of Public Works, Jean-Luc Picardette, has already released a statement claiming that he enjoys a "professional relationship" with Mei Wang, but that any allegations of sexual activity are "completely scandalous and beyond the pale".
Please, Minister Picardette, beyond the pale is what we do.
According to new sources stepping out of the woodwork (but speaking only on the condition of anonymity), the two met at a function at PrétentU after Professor Wang delivered an impassioned speech on the efficacy of French foreign aid to former French colonies. They spent much time at a preceding meet and greet whispering to each other off to the side; although no one was close enough to hear what was said, Stawlker assumes that they were mostly sweet nothings, or the French equivalent of "How you doin'?"UPDATE:
Mei Wang has also published her own response to the allegations of sexual misconduct between herself and Minister Picardette, claiming that the claims are "spurious" and that although they have enjoyed "vigorous, spirited debate", nothing sexual has occurred between the two.
We at Stawlker often describe completely non-sexual activities as both "vigorous" and "spirited".
Source: THEY'RE ANONYMOUS
France's Minister of Public Works, Jean-Luc Picardette, has already released a statement claiming that he enjoys a "professional relationship" with Mei Wang, but that any allegations of sexual activity are "completely scandalous and beyond the pale".
Please, Minister Picardette, beyond the pale is what we do.
According to new sources stepping out of the woodwork (but speaking only on the condition of anonymity), the two met at a function at PrétentU after Professor Wang delivered an impassioned speech on the efficacy of French foreign aid to former French colonies. They spent much time at a preceding meet and greet whispering to each other off to the side; although no one was close enough to hear what was said, Stawlker assumes that they were mostly sweet nothings, or the French equivalent of "How you doin'?"UPDATE:
Mei Wang has also published her own response to the allegations of sexual misconduct between herself and Minister Picardette, claiming that the claims are "spurious" and that although they have enjoyed "vigorous, spirited debate", nothing sexual has occurred between the two.
We at Stawlker often describe completely non-sexual activities as both "vigorous" and "spirited".
Source: THEY'RE ANONYMOUS
BREAKING: FRENCH AND CHINESE SEXUAL ALLIANCE ANNOUNCED
Well,
this is interesting.
Apparently
newly appointed Minister of Public Works, Jean-Luc Picardette (no
distant relation to fake space captain, Jean-Luc Picard) has been
"Publicly Working" with visiting professor Mei Wang (no
relation) of L'Universitie Prétentieux. Mei Wang has a
Ph.D. in Cultural Anthropology and is currently teaching a course on
Francophone nations of northern Africa. Although class sizes
at PrétentU are small, an anonymous source close to
the minister maintains that she is hosting much more intimate courses
at night.
In
her room.
Stawlker
will bring more as the story develops.
FROM RUSSIA WITH SCANDAL
So the four-month long investigation into Dmitri Petrokovikov's affair with former-CIA-spy-turned-Russian-defector has finally come to a head with this photograph:
O
M
G*
You guys. This is so scandalous, except for the fact that there was no possible way this hadn't happened, after months of testimony and friends coming forward with juicy, juicy details. All that really remains to prove that the two knew each other outside of work, intimately, was the money shot, and ... please, God, don't ever let that surface.
Former-CIA-spy-turned-Russian-defector Sarah Palinsky (no distant relation) was, undoubtedly, attempting the old spy trick of "hiding in plain sight". Unfortunately, she also "sucked at doing that".
That's all folks! Stay tuned as the entire English-speaking world slowly stops caring about this in about one week.
(*Used ironically.)
Source: The Washington Post
O
M
G*
You guys. This is so scandalous, except for the fact that there was no possible way this hadn't happened, after months of testimony and friends coming forward with juicy, juicy details. All that really remains to prove that the two knew each other outside of work, intimately, was the money shot, and ... please, God, don't ever let that surface.
Former-CIA-spy-turned-Russian-defector Sarah Palinsky (no distant relation) was, undoubtedly, attempting the old spy trick of "hiding in plain sight". Unfortunately, she also "sucked at doing that".
That's all folks! Stay tuned as the entire English-speaking world slowly stops caring about this in about one week.
(*Used ironically.)
Source: The Washington Post
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